untangling the awkward relationship between art and money

Cultural overdose

Me: We still going to the Art Fair together?

Vaguely arty friend: Yeah. Sure. Wouldn’t miss it. Exciting.

Me: When?

Vaguely arty friend who clearly cares more about alternate therapies and football than art: Umm… I’m at a reiki workshop all day Friday. Oh, shit. Sunday’s out. St. Kilda’s playing the Crows at Telstra Dome. How about Saturday?

Me: Do you have a death wish? 80 galleries, 32 bazillion works of art in one day?

Vaguely arty friend who clearly cares more about alternate therapies and football than art: Shit. Guess you’re right. Better save it till next time, eh?


The Melbourne Art Fair is a splendiferous affair. A veritable smorgasbord heaving with cultural treasures. But it is big. So very, very big. Love it, live for it. But also fear it.

Something akin to the Grossi Florentino degustation menu. Too obscure a reference for non-Melburnians? Perhaps.

Let me elaborate. Or, even better… Read, and weep. And, yes, to pre-empt the inevitable question – the following is served to a single diner. I can tell you from personal experience that the Romans had the right idea about surviving such culinary debauchery (look it up): 


Zucchini and mozzarella terrine, pickled mushroom, radish, watercress “salsa verde”, snails with parsley and farro 

90ml Cloudy Bay Chardonnay 

Octopus, Foie Gras custard, baby beet, rice biscuit, cayenne praline, cabernet vinegar 

90ml Jermann Vinnae 

Southern rock lobster, porcini, sweetbreads, young sorrel, goats cheese, shallot 

90ml Yarra Yarra Sauvignon Blanc Semillon 

Jamòn flavoured marrow ravioli, braised veal shank, “gremolata” 

90ml Speri Valpolicella Classico Superiore ‘Ripasso’ DOC 

Rabbit “in porchetta”, boned and rolled, speck, spices, “agrodolce”, fennel and orange, peas 

90ml Felsina Berardenga Chianti Classico 

Castricum lamb, bread stuffing, baby artichoke, sweet pepper pastry, peppercorn “salmoriglio” 

90ml Vinea Marson Syrah 

Gelato, a seasonal selection 

Valrhona chocolate soufflé 

campari and orange ice cream and chocolate syrup 

60ml Umani Ronchi Maximo IGT 

Vittoria coffee and pastries 


So many good things. So, so good. But so little time. Eat it all at once, and you run the risk of hallucinations and severe gastro-intestinal trauma. 

See also: Art Fairs

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Basic HTML is allowed. Your email address will not be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS

%d bloggers like this: